UNDER CONSTRUCTION MOFOS
SLOWLY TRYING TO REVAMP THE BLOG. BE BACK AT A LATER TIME.
Freshman Orientation Tip #1
You don't have to wear the cheesy t-shirts and nametag they give you. If you know some people that are maybe older, and having a party, or for that case doing anything better than learning the fight song, go chill with them.
Freshman orientation doesn't really help you with anything other than learning which buildings are which. Other than that, in order to get the most real college experience, find some guys/girls that are already students that can show you around and show you a good time.
USA v Ghana: A Bro Preview
Tomorrow marks a huge day for the United States. For the first time in 8 decades, the US has won their group and advanced on to the elimination rounds. Tomorrow at 1:30 PM, the US takes on the Ghana Black Stars in hopes of advancing onto the next round.
HOW TO WATCH: Luckily for the weaker-hearted, the game is being played in the afternoon. However, that doesn't mean you can't still wake up at 9 and start pre-gaming. I've found that the best way to pre-game for an afternoon game is by getting your best bros and a few sorostitutes together at someone's house. Once there, get the sorostitutes to make some kind of delicious breakfast (pigs in a blanket or whatever they know how to make) in exchange for some tasty hard mimosas. Throw the Uruguay v South Korea game on ESPN HD just for some background video, put your favorite chill playlist on the speakers and just kick back and enjoy the company.
Around 12ish, either A) tap the keg or B) head to your favorite local sports bar. Given the bar will be more crowded, there's nothing that can compete with a room full of drunk, proud fellow American's chanting "USA! USA! USA!" after a win. Either route you take, make sure to pay attention to the game and have a great fucking time doing it.
IF THE US WINS: If the United States pulls it off (which they will) tomorrow afternoon, go absolutely nuts. Continue day-partying until dinner time, get a hamburger and freedom fries or a big-ass steak, and get ready for the night. If you're lucky enough to live in an area with rows of bars and closed streets, go out in full force with a smile on your face and don't be scared to shout "USA!" before/after every round of shots.
IF THE US LOSES: As unlikely as it seems, this World Cup so far has been incredible, and filled with plenty of upsets. If the US slips up and doesn't manage to beat Ghana, don't get upset. It's okay to be pissed in the beginning, but nobody likes a belligerent asshole who's rampaging around in a fit of anger. Nobody, especially potential slampieces, like that person. Remember to just be happy and celebrate the USA's success in this year's World Cup. Also, it's Saturday and summer time, there's no reason to get all pissy. Just concentrate and move onto the next important thing of the day: alcohol and girls.
Have a great Saturday bros and remember to sport the most patriotic clothing you have tomorrow. Allow me to close with this genius quote from another great American, Kenny Powers
"Sure, I've been called a xenophobe, but the truth is, I'm not. I honestly just feel that America is the best country and the other countries aren't as good. That used to be called patriotism. "
Two Things to Soon Become Unpopular
We've reached the halfway point of the summer, and two things (out of the ordinary) have become very popular in the previous weeks. One of the most popular things is what we all know as icing, the other being that drink that many of you have probably missed out on, known no other than a 4 Loko.I'll start with the more unknown 4 Loko revolution that's been sweeping at least my home state, Texas. The deal with these is that they're basically one of those energy drinks that has alcohol in it, but it's big as shit and has way more alcohol. These have become very popular pre-party drinks because one of these bad boys gets you to a level of preparedness that would normally take 5 beers or 3 shots of rum. They're tasty and have somehow managed to not become a completely douche drink (yet.)
WHY IT'LL NEVER LAST: Technically, both of the things listed here won't last for the same reason; the newness will eventually wear off and people will get bored. With these Lokos, people will realize how much of a guido they look like with some big-ass energy drink looking can and drinking what's essentially Kool-Aid mixed with tasteless vodka. The history of drinking has shown us that nothing will take the place of good old fashioned beer and liquor. Games involving beer and taking shots in celebration for whatever reason have become too much of a staple in our society for the duo to ever be replaced (especially not by some gimmicky juice in a big fucking can.)
Secondly is the pandemic that has finally reached all corners of the United States, the game everyone knows as icing. Before I get started, let it be known that I fully support the game in every aspect, so don't take what I say here out of context.
WHY IT'LL NEVER LAST: The problem icing will soon face is that it will simply become tedious, annoying, old, etc. It's reached such a high level of popularity so quickly because it had such a unique concept. However, once football season starts up and the weather starts to turn towards cold, this game will die just as quickly as it ran it's course. In my personal experiences, I've already seen the sharp incline of interest in the game turn towards a sloping decline, with people simply getting annoyed or bored with the game. Sometimes it's also just too tedious to dish out the extra cash for some ices when the same money could be used on more beer for yourself.
Unfortunately for icing, I don't see it being so popular by the end of the summer at all. The official website has already been taken down, and while the game has continued media attention through similar websites, it will soon become overshadowed by 'the next big thing'. Of course, there will still be some individuals who will insist on keeping the game alive throughout the months to come, but I have a feeling that icing will no longer be the big man on campus after it's had some time to age.
Slampiece of (Yesterday)
I've been enjoying my summer a little too much, keeping away from the computer as much as possible so I've been a little behind. For those of you who follow us on Twitter know that yesterday's slampiece was Olivia Wilde, co-star from the Fox show HOUSE. Here's the official entry for the slampiece of yesterday:
Drink of the Day
Caribbou Lou
Referenced in the song "Caribou Lou" by rapper Tech N9ne where he sings about it - "...151 rum, pineapple juice, and malibu, caribou, get them all numb...". This is a great drink to make in large quantities (punch) and perfect for summer nights or hot summer days on the beach.
The serving instructions vary depending on who's trying to explain, so I'll just give you the lowdown on the way we've always served it.
1 part (1 fifth) Bacardi 151
1 part (1 handle) Malibu Coconut Rum
2 parts (2 big ass tin cans) Pineapple Juice
This drink goes down easy as hell and hits hard once the 151 kicks in.
DISCLAIMER: This punch will drop multiple panties.
Song of the Day
G.R.I.N.D. by Asher Roth
While I normally don't endorse Asher, this new track is pretty sick. Check out the YouTube radio rip by following the link below:
http://tiny.cc/4j0q4
Bro Song/Music Video of the Day
Rad OMEN - Rad Anthem
Watch the music video and you'll know exactly why this is the song of the day.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jl0G3uH71B8
Bro Song of the Day
Today's song of the day is You Are Never Alone by Socalled. In this track, Socalled goes back to the roots of classic hip-hop to make an extremely catchy beat and chorus. Not the most hype song, but worth a listen regardless. The music video is trippy as shit too. Copy and paste the link below to check it out.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8tS4OWiozmw
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